


Two Bits

by NellieOleson



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-30
Updated: 2012-03-30
Packaged: 2017-11-02 18:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellieOleson/pseuds/NellieOleson





	Two Bits

They really should have turned off the lights while they were still dressed.   
  
Jack corrected himself; he really should have turned off the lights. Carter could sleep with every light in the house blazing--Jack couldn’t, which meant that he was always the one to get up and turn them all off. It wasn’t a lot of work and he got to walk around Carter’s house naked, which was just cool, but Carter didn’t seem to know where her thermostat was and the running around naked weather was long gone. Santa might need to bring Carter a Clapper this year.   
  
“Would you still love me if I got you The Clapper for Christmas?” Jack asked.   
  
“What?”  
  
She was obviously feigning ignorance. Everyone knew about The Clapper. “For your lights. So I don’t have to get up.”  
  
“Oh, that. My lights are on a voice-controlled circuit,” she said in her best two-plus-two-equals-four voice.   
  
What the hell? He’d been freezing his ass off for nothing? “What do you mean they’re on a voice-controlled circuit? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
“I like to watch you turn them off.”  
  
Well, that was just…mean. He’d missed out on a lot of naked-with-Carter time while turning out those lights. But no more. “What do I have to say to them?”  
  
“Just say, lights, off,” she told him.  
  
That made sense. Carter was very logical. “Lights, off,” Jack demanded.   
  
The lights stayed on. Maybe they didn’t hear him.  
  
He tried again. Louder. “Lights, off.” Still nothing. Huh. It always worked so well on Star Trek. Jack was about to yell at the stupid lights when he noticed Carter looking at him. Looking at him and trying not to laugh. Oh for cryin’ out loud—“That’s just wrong, Carter.”  
  
“Why would I have voice-controlled lights?” She asked like she’d never had a Stargate in her basement.   
  
“How the hell would I know? You have an electric toothbrush.”  
  
“I see,” she said.  
  
Clearly, she didn’t. Jack let it go and started plotting his revenge. She’d be sorry. Jack was in charge of a lot of smart people. He wasn’t beyond using them to get back at Carter. He’d send out a secret memo as soon as he got back to Washington.  
  
He rubbed his feet together and pulled Carter closer. She was still warm and the bedroom was getting colder. Winter barely let fall get out the door before barging in to drop its freezing temperatures on Colorado. He ran his fingers up Carter’s neck and through her hair while he tried to think of devious stuff. Her skin was distracting. He put the devious stuff on hold wondered if he could seize control of her furnace instead. Heat might be better than revenge. Jack pulled his fingers away from the back of her neck and let her hair fall through. It was getting long. “You need a haircut,” he said.  
  
“I’m letting it grow.”  
  
Jack frowned at the top of her head. Carter hadn’t mentioned any new hair plans. She could have warned him. Maybe sent him an e-mail or something.  “Why?”  
  
“Because it’s been short since I graduated high school.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“And now I want it long.”  
  
Jack thought long hair was overrated. Short hair was sexy and practical and Carter’s hair had been short as long as he’d known her. He couldn’t even imagine her with long hair. He was still having trouble with Tealc. “I like it short.”  
  
She didn’t seem too interested in what Jack liked. “Take a picture.”  
  
Carter was a lot less of a smart-ass before they’d started dating. Dating, Jack mused. How weird was that? Carter was his girlfriend. Jack liked the sound of that; Carter probably wouldn’t. He’d bring it up over the phone. Just in case.  
  
“Really? My opinion doesn’t matter at all to you?”  
  
“Your opinion of my hair?” She looked up at him and Jack immediately knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere with his indignation. “Nope. Not at all.”  
  
Maybe a different angle would be more effective. “I’m shaving my head tomorrow.”   
  
Or not.  
  
“You’re such an ass.”  
  
Carter’s fingers started tracing invisible lines across his chest and Jack realized he really didn’t care what she did with her hair. There were plenty of other things he liked about her, things she couldn’t change without extensive surgery. And possibly hormones of some sort. “Are you just now realizing that?”  
  
Jack felt her smile against his skin. Her hand was on his stomach now. Taunting him. “No,” she admitted. “Daniel told me you were an ass the first day I met him.”  
  
 “He did not. Daniel loves me.”  
  
“Daniel tolerates you,” she said. “Teal’c loves you.”  
  
Ah, Teal’c. Jack was still uncomfortable with Teal’c’s sudden jump in age. Even Teal’c seemed to be having issues with it. He’d seemed off the last time Jack saw him. “Has he dyed that lightning bolt out of his hair yet?”  
  
“No,” said Carter. “He likes it. Says it reminds him of something special.”  
  
“Being trapped in a time thingy for fifty years is something he wants to be reminded of?”  
  
“I don’t know. I guess it is. He won’t give us any details.”  
  
“Huh. I find that…odd.” Really, really odd. Teal’c usually reserved his nostalgia for more…nostalgic…things.   
  
“Yep,” said Carter before effectively changing the subject. Unlike the Carter he’d worked with for ten years, the Carter he was dating liked to torture Jack with crazy sex-talk. It was something he was having a hard time reconciling. She rolled on top of him and started whispering things in his ear that made him wish he were eighteen again, because as nice as this was, it wasn’t going to go much further. There was no way they’d be having any more sex before he had a chance to take a nap.  
  
Carter knew that, but she was evil and liked to assert her evilness whenever possible. Jack ignored her. Sort of. Trying to ignore Carter was like trying to ignore the damn lights. Speaking of which…. There would be no nap as long as they were on. “Get off of me,” he said.  
  
She sat up, taking the covers with her and leaving Jack exposed to the elements. “That’s not something I thought I’d ever hear you say.”  
  
“That makes two of us,” Jack said before freeing himself from Carter’s evil clutches and making a mad dash through the house. As he rounded the corner into her kitchen Jack realized he knew exactly how he was going to get his revenge. It was obvious, really. And so simple, he wouldn’t even need to send out a memo.   
  
Carter wanted long hair, did she? Jack just happened to know of an extremely successful research project involving a certain alien plant and hair restoration. And maybe some of that super hair-growing juice might find its way into Carter’s shampoo. And maybe Carter would be down to her ankles in hair faster than she could field strip a P90.  
  
And just maybe she’d decide that long hair was more trouble than it was worth.


End file.
